It’s been a week since my sixth ketamine infusion.
Effects are still increasing. My curiosity and love of knowledge are now apparent to all. It takes no time for me to inadvertently tell anyone some piece of obscure, yet relevant trivia.
It’s okay not to understand my joy. It’s still something I wasn’t capable of a month ago. And that makes all the difference. Seriously though, i can almost literally feel my IQ going back up. It’s a feeling not unlike the one afforded by high-dose amphetamines, except, there’s no edge at all. No jagged moments. No fear of possible shatter.
A lot of people don’t realize the gravitational pull of Clinical Depression over an extended time. Mental activity of a creative, social, or healthy way is something Depression and Anxiety inhibit very gradually until the ability is gone. It’s an insidious problem.
I didn’t even realize I’d had been blunted by chemical imbalance so severely in this area. Quotes have been crash landing in my head. Things I’d forgotten all together.
The day after, I sat in the sunshine, and smiled til I cried. It was the best I’d felt in literally 15 years. I cried some again earlier, when I was drafting a piece for here. Realizing the effects had dampened none is an extremely hopeful feeling. I’m not quite used to being able to feel so sharply again yet. But I don’t stay angry or sad long no matter what now.
I wish I cloud claim more here, but rebuilding habits and patterns for hygiene and health take time, so I’m not concerned either. In general it is better, but I need to work on it more intentionally.
This would ya e been my least favorite topic 3 weeks ago. Now, I’m working hard to build a community hear, where many people can share their stories to inspire others.
Hopefully next week, everyone can meet the first voice to stand with me and say, “You are not alone.” Katie contacted me after I posted a request on twitter. She’ll be sharing her story, which is not centered on Ketamine, but is focused on recovery.
I’ve got several more invites extended to authors or mental warriors, I’m looking for a few to help me watch over and answer questions or provide support in the telegram and Matrix.org group chats. I could also use someone who’s into Graphic Design. I think it’s time we got a good look on.
From me, you can expect much more. I have experiences to record. I habe volunteers to recruit and sorta-manage, weekly progress updates, some advice on other ways I’m working to insure my recovery, and just lots of coolness.
As much as I hate to mention it, K: The Journey is only possible because of the generosity of a friend in Finland. I am taking donations to pay to lease my own server, and a domain for 1 year. I’ve received about half of what I need. You can help out by clicking on Kofi below. I plan to make the finances 100% transparent as quickly as I’m on a private server, and can offer so many more tools to aid in your recovery and mine!
I do still listen occasionally.
Don’t give up hope. If I can feel like this after 15 years, then there is no one beyond help. You don’t have to suffer.